UNDEROOS!

Asher is now officially a "big boy." I decided to just put him into regular undies because he figured out how much easier it is to just pee in his pull-up than going all the way to the bathroom. We knew he had the ability to tell when he had to go and to go into the potty because he would do it when he felt like it. This change is going to add to my laundry, but hopefully cut down on the diaper budget. He is so cute in his little underoos!

Happy Halloween

Halloween around here was a bit thrown together. We finally carved the pumpkin we got weeks ago from the patch. I have a pretty nasty cold so was not very energetic yesterday. Len is working at the cabin with Keith so it was just Karen and I. I had Jo draw on the face and then I cut it out. I had to improvise a bit as his drawing was not cutting friendly... but there was distinctly a nose, mouth and two eyes. He also drew his name as he is so used to doing that at school now. He gave it some hair for good measure as well.

Thanks to Logan for passing down his costumes so our boys had something to wear. They looked pretty cute. When I was going through the box of costumes, the first one I pulled out was a cow. Somehow Asher heard "cowboy" and was convinced that's what he was going to be. I had some dress-up stuff that was cowboy so I tried to talk him into that a couple of weeks ago, but I don't think he really understood what a cowboy was. In the end, the scarecrow worked out fine. He didn't want to wear the hat, but I told him they wouldn't give him candy if he didn't wear it!! (hey, the outfit was nothing without the hat!) So then he wore it without a problem. Josiah was pretty unfocused and did lots of yelling on our trick-or-treating outing, but that's part of life with him lately. We went to his 3 teacher's houses, but none of them were home. We finally visited Emily and Joyce and they enjoyed that of course and got tons of candy as we were their only visitors. They didn't talk about the candy at all today so we'll be using it as dessert for the next few weeks (if Len and I don't eat it all first!)

Happy 3rd Birthday Asher!

We had a very fun birthday celebration for Asher. We invited Steve and Tracey down for the day and of course Grammy was here too. For breakfast, Asher got a candle in his muffin and he was delighted about that. He told me for weeks he wanted Mac n' Cheese for his birthday lunch so he got that and everyone else ate grilled pork chops, cranberry salad, squash and potatoes. The birthday boy really just wanted cake and kept asking when he was getting his truck cake.

Asher told me that he wanted a green truck cake and so I looked ideas up online and came up with my own version. It turned out pretty good besides being a low-rider! He loved it and that was the most important thing. The look on his face when he first saw it was so precious. I just love being able to watch the joy on their faces.

He had fun opening his presents and got lots of stuff for his train set. He was totally wiped by the end of the day as he didn't get a nap and had WAY too much sugar. I had spread the gifts out a little bit and was planning on giving him some before bedtime. At bedtime I gave him a book and his big present from us which was a shopping cart. He was so excited and ran once around the kitchen with it, then decided the wheels didn't work and tossed the thing all the way across the dining room. He knew what would happen then and I could see the regret mingled with anger on his face. Grammy carted him off to bed while I put his cart in a time-out. It took a while to calm him down but finally I started talking about his day to him and he calmed down.

All-in-all a good birthday and amazing that my little munchkin is 3 years old!

Grammy's Visit

After a very fun and eventful week, Grammy is leaving town on her birthday tomorrow morning. Last week she and I went to the Women of Faith conference in St. Paul and had a really special time together. We laughed and cried together and were able to really connect.

Today was Asher's party so she was a huge help in preparing for that. She made the food and helped clean the house. I'll go into the party in a separate post later.

Mom spent a lot of quality time playing with Asher this week which he loved and was so great for him. He seemed happier having the attention that I usually can't give to him. Josiah has been a bit more challenging lately so he wasn't very engaged this week.

We did lots of fun stuff this week with the boys as well. We are starting some water therapy at the clinic for Josiah so he can get used to the water and hopefully strengthen his muscles. Len took him to that on Friday morning and then mom and I took both boys to the children's museum. They love it there so much and always have a great time. We are a bit paranoid about the germs but that doesn't put a damper on their fun. We then had lunch at one of my favorite restaurants above the coop.

Josiah has been doing this sensory yelling thing which is getting to be pretty trying. He does it in public of course and it really calls attention to him/us. It is difficult to be in a restaurant because of this, but we did also go to a very fun dinner at Doc's Blue Moose on night this week as well. Thanks Grammy for a great week!

Pumpkin Patch

Yesterday we took a trip to the local nursery for an event put on by ECFE. They had some games for the kids to play and then a hay wagon ride to the pumpkin patch. It was chilly and Josiah was a grumpy puppy for the first 1/2 hour. We had to wait about an hour for the hayride as we got there late and missed the first round. Luckily they had the greenhouse open with all these gorgeous mums that smelled so good. They had treats for the kids so that appeased Josiah some and we eventually got some smiles out of him. Len was sick so he stayed home, but Lara went with us and it was great to have her along. Both boys LOVED the hayride. Asher looked like he was in complete heaven being so close to a tractor. He had the most contented smile on his face! Once we got to the pumpkin patch, both the boys picked out pumpkins to bring home. Josiah picked the first one he saw and then said "okay, let's get back on the wagon." Asher picked a different variety - the surface is covered in bumps like a gourd. It is really neat and I'll post pictures of it later. I didn't get any good pictures of Josiah since he was pretty ornery, but I got some cute ones of Asher.

NJ Liptack Visit

Although this is way past due, Marsha requested pictures of the cousins together. We did a lot of great stuff while they were visiting. Len took them to a cave in Harmony, on a gator ride and goat milking. We all went together to the children's museum in LaCrosse followed by a picnic by the river. Another day we rented a boat up in Alma and spent the afternoon on the water. We did more that week than we've done in the 6 years we've been here!

Back to School

Josiah is doing really well in school and seems to really being back into the routine. He wasn't at all timid or uncertain about returning to school. Although he has a new aid, he has the same teacher so the adjustment isn't too bad. He has some of the same kids in his class so that helps as well. They are letting him chew gum so that makes him happy. When I take him home he is able to tell me a couple of things about the day. It takes some prompting, but he always remembers what he had for snack and can sometimes tell us some of the activities. We will probably send him on the bus after a couple more weeks. We'll ask the neighbor girl to keep track of him until they get to school.

Bathroom Progress

Len has done an amazing job on our new bathroom. He finished up the texturing on the new walls, I painted them this light aqua blue color, and then the next weekend he laid the flooring. He put heated flooring underneath the ceramic tiles since this bathroom is on an exterior/cement slab. The shower/tub run now! Everything has been sealed, he just has to do some additional caulking. This weekend he'll hopefully put in the pedestal sink and new toilet and we'll finally be functional! It will need finishing touches like molding, shelves, mirror, etc., but we'll probably start on something else before the cold weather sets in for good.

Josiah's annual visit to Dr. Solomon

I had scheduled our annual visit with Josiah’s doctor in Michigan a little late this year so we weren’t able to get an appointment until mid-December. We were thrilled when his office called with a cancellation last week for yesterday (Monday, Sep. 21). We packed up for the 10 hour trek to Ann Arbor and left after Len’s Bible Class around 3:30pm on Sunday. The boys were a little bored in the car, but did fairly well for the first stretch. We got to the hotel in Madison about 7:00pm. The boys were so thrilled to be in the hotel and were so hyper and excited. They were running all around the lobby and then up and down the hallways. We let them have a bit of “hyper-time” and then tried to settle them down for bedtime. At home they are in bed by 7:30 and asleep by 8. Sunday night they didn’t settle down to sleep until around 9:30. We got up by 5am to pack up. We brought the boys to the car as the last thing, hoping of course that they would stay sleeping. As soon as we picked them up the excitement began and they were awake for the rest of the day.

We had a seven hour drive to go, and we were concerned about rush hour traffic through Chicago. Luckily Len had a colleague who loaned us an I-Pass to get us through the tollways in Illinois, and that saved us a lot of time. Unfortunately we hit a lot of construction and that slowed us down quite a bit. We (I) were stressed about the delays and didn’t think we could comfortably stop even though the boys were bored out of their minds. I finally pulled out the DVD player and that helped a lot. Our appointment was at 2 and we decided at 1:15 that we had just enough time to go through a drive-thru. You won’t believe this, but we pulled into the parking lot at Dr. Solomon’s at 1:54!! We had just enough time to change the boys out of their pajamas and rush them into the office. They were both hyper from the drive and ready to release some energy.

During the appointment Josiah displayed all of the behaviors that have proven so difficult over the last months. For those of you that don’t know, he’s developed an obsession that has been very hard to deal with. He has been open-mouth kissing/popping on adult’s clothing. This mostly happens with me and happens every time he sees me. The obsession increases when he is nervous, bored, uncomfortable, excited etc. So during the 2-hour appointment he was constantly coming over to me and doing this mostly on my breasts since I was sitting down. He couldn’t figure out how to entertain himself as no one was playing with him and he was pestering Asher as well. He was whiny and generally difficult. After talking with us and observing these behaviors, Dr. Solomon made the following observations:

The good news:

He has become very well socialized. He is referencing people appropriately, expressing feelings, trying to engage in interactions and has moved up the developmental levels. Last October, Josiah was barely at a level 5 (Shared Meanings & Simple Imaginary play ideas). This time he described him as well into Level 6 (Complex Abstract/Emotional Thinking) and said he has made phenomenal progress. He said this several times and stressed how intelligent he is and how good he is at reasoning. He said he is certainly high functioning and described him as having Aspberger’s Syndrome “with behavioral issues.” This is a huge improvement and what we were hoping for.

Areas of need:

He thought that although he his now well-socialized, all of the behaviors he is exhibiting are a result of having too much interaction. He felt that since adults are around him all the time attending to him and following his every cue, many of his behaviors show some infantilism. We have observed that he has little interest/confidence in most self-help areas and assumed it was a result of his autism/motor problems. Dr. Solomon feels he is doing little of what should be expected of a 5 year old at his level. He encouraged us to increase our expectations of him so that his confidence level will rise and he will be able to perform more activities independently. He wanted us to increase our strictness and respond more quickly to his misbehavior. Although he doesn’t currently exhibit these behaviors at school we worry that his behavior at home might begin at school, so we want to head that off. We intend to write our “house rules” and the consequences that follow for breaking those rules. Simply put, Dr. Solomon said we need to “normalize” his life. We need to stop coddling him because he has autism and start expecting more from him.

In the last 3-4 months, Josiah has also had a serious regression in his potty skills and now has 2-4 bowel accidents per day. This has been a major discussion within our staff and is a cause of great concern within our family. Dr. Solomon wondered about encopresis (holding feces so long that he no longer feels when he has to go) and asked many questions about his bathroom habits. He has encouraged us to get an x-ray to rule this out, although after he felt Josiah’s belly he didn’t think it was likely he had a medical problem. He thinks it more likely that the accidents are “on purpose” and a behavioral issue after all the changes in his life (Tom and Jenny leaving, training a new person, having so much company, etc.) To deal with this issue, he wants us to increase rewards for going on the potty and take away toys while we make clear our expectations we have of him. I purchased him a more advanced kid’s computer to use as a reward. He hasn’t had any accidents in the last 3 days so we will continue to work on that and hope that we have finally found the key. We will make a visual of all of this for him so he clearly understands our expectations for him on the potty.

Another big point Dr. Solomon made was that Josiah has outgrown the “following his lead” strategy that we’ve employed during the last 3 years. Now that he is well socialized and interested in people, he thought our program should be more focused/structured and that we should encourage more independence. He wanted us to structure our program more like preschool/kindergarten so that there are certain times for different activities. This will be quite a change as he is used to everyone doing what he wants to do. We will really need to research the best way to change our program to make this change as smooth as possible. As this approach will take a lot more planning, we plan to rely on our PCAs to help us. As they are in the education field, they are familiar with lesson planning and we are confident that they can help make this program successful for Josiah. Hopefully it will be more exciting for them as well as they will get to employ the skills they have learned in school.

All in all, we feel we made the trip at the right time and we are encouraged by Josiah’s progress. We were pleased with the feedback we received and the advice Dr. Solomon gave us. The real work begins now as we need to start planning and implementing a new program. We have many books in our possession already and have ordered more from the library to help with this new transition. We will rely on the expertise of our PCAs to help us as they put to use their training in elementary education.

Silly Goosey Goose!

When you tell my boys to smile, you get a pretty funny picture. This was taken at the cabin on labor day. While Len worked, I took them to the marina where they have some playground equipment and a little beach. They had a blast playing together.

Many people comment that Asher has pretty advanced language for his age. It amazes me how he can hear a phrase once and will recall it again later. His latest phrase is "silly goosey goose!" He calls other people this and also himself. Then he gets this huge goofy grin on his face. I can see him being the class clown.

Sleeping Cuties

Often I feel the most love for my kids when they are sleeping. They are so sweet and innocent when they are in dreamland. Their bodies and faces are totally relaxed and they look so peaceful and calm. No one is whining or fussing, teasing or torturing each other!

Let the produce come forth!

Finally... our garden is starting to do something! It's been really slow to start because of our weird weather, but now we are getting zucchini and cucumbers. This week I harvested most of the onions and Len put them in the garage to dry out before we put them in mesh bags. I hope these last a while since we can't freeze them or can them! There is probably another 1/4 of these left in the garden yet. I've been grating zucchini and freezing it. Yesterday our neighbor was kind enough to let us come and harvest sweet corn. I shucked the cobs, blanched, cooled, cut the kernels and then put them in freezer bags from 8-4:30 yesterday. I keep reminding myself how much money we're saving on groceries. This is not my favorite time of year, but it is important to get us through the rest of the year.

Birthday cupcakes

Len made me my favorite kind of cake (german chocolate) into cupcakes on my birthday. I had a glorious 4 hour nap and the boys couldn't wait to eat them so they had a sample while I was sleeping. When I got up they got another treat for their afternoon snack. They weren't crazy about the frosting, but they like the cake part. They "wrote" a card for me which I loved of course. Len took me out for supper at our favorite restaurant in Decorah. Tom had given us a gift certificate as a goodbye gift so we were so glad to have that. It was a fun birthday.

New Window

Last weekend, Len asked a couple of guys from church to help put in a window that we retrieved from the other house. Len hadn't worked with vinyl siding before and wanted to see it done before working with it himself. He traded a week at the cabin for these guys (when it is livable) and they were really helpful. Because the tub is on the north side, there was only room for a window that was the same width as the one that was there before. Coincidentally, the width was the same size as one of the windows we salvaged, so it worked out really well. The window looks great inside and out. Eventually we'll have to figure out what to do for a window on the other side, but that's a ways down the road.

Party Pooper

On the way home from the cabin last week, I saw these little rides outside of an older drive-in restaurant. I pulled in and told the boys we were going to do something fun - a little treat. I got them out of the car and showed them the rides. Asher climbed up and was excited. I had to coax Josiah up into the seat. He frowned the entire time. Asher wanted to go on all three (they were only 25 cents!), but by the end Josiah said "I want a REAL treat, one I can eat." Sigh.... I'm afraid I have a little party pooper on my hands.

Cabin Update

The bathroom is starting to come along at the cabin. I took this video so you guys could see. Len is still working up there today and tonight yet so he'll probably get some more drywall up or the framing done for the door.

Casper

We've been adopted by a stray cat. When it first came to us it had bloody patches behind its ears and although we didn't want to pay to take it in, we did call the vet. He thought it was ear mites so we put some medicine on him for that. The cat is extremely friendly and at first we told the kids not to touch him because of his ears; however, it is impossible not to touch him as he is constantly rubbing all over them. Josiah and the PCAs have named him "Casper the friendly cat."

At first when we told Asher not to touch him, he would try and walk around him which was impossible. At one point Asher was trying to get off the deck so he'd go one way and try to step down, but Casper would be right there and Asher would say "Excuse me!" and then he'd try another place and the same thing would happen. At one point I looked out the door and thought he was petting him (he was just trying to push him out of the way) and I went out and told him not to touch the kitty. He told me "I'm not going to touch the kitty, cuz I don't know where he's been!" It was so cute!!

Now the no touching rule is off and Asher manhandles this poor cat. You can see an example of this in this video.

Gift from Corey and Em and Family

Josiah was completely delighted to open his gift from Corey and Em today. He was so excited to learn that these were books he got to keep for his very own!! We caught these moments on this great video!

Happy 5th Birthday Josiah!!

Yesterday we had a great day celebrating Josiah turning 5 years old. In some ways it is hard to believe that it has been 5 years, and in others it feels like we've lived a lifetime in that time. He was so excited for his birthday and was in a great mood all day waiting for his party. He said he wouldn't turn 5 until his party started!

We started out playing squirt guns outside, which turned into him dumping water onto everyone's feet. We were so thrilled and proud at how he included everyone in his play. He didn't exclude anyone - even Sara who has only played with him for a month. He had so much fun outside.

We then went inside for supper (Brats, blackbean burgers, jello salad, cheetos and corn on the cob) and he ate very well, chattering the whole time. He kept asking where his cake was, but he continued to eat the rest of the food while waiting. Then of course we did cake and ice-cream and he was delighted with the cake. He had chosen out what he wanted for that - a number 5 cake, strawberry flavor, white icing and skittles.

Len and I had put together clips of Josiah's 5 years to play for the PCAs so they could see how much he's changed and what a difference they've all made. After supper we watched that video and then opened presents. He loved all of his gifts and wanted to play with each one after opening them.

After presents it was 7:15! I really wish we could have done the party earlier so he could have played with some of his toys. He and Asher were so wound up from all of the sugar and excitement so Grammy gave them a bath while we visited with the PCAs. We are so grateful for them and the love they have for Josiah. They are so selfless to come to a 5 year old birthday party and really laugh and play with him the whole time. They make him feel so special.

His favorite present has to be his beloved camera which he has waited months for. We let him open this gift from Grammy and Grandpa after breakfast so he played with it all day.

Although we were all exhausted at the end, it was a great day and Josiah's smiles were so genuine!

Tom and Josiah

Last week we had to say farewell to one of Josiah's PCAs as he has graduated from Luther and is moving to Madison. Tom has been working with Josiah for 2 years and really has a true talent for his chosen field. From day 1, he clicked with Josiah and both boys loved having him over to the house to play.

This was a very difficult goodbye for all of us. I had been trying to prepare our family for a couple of weeks for the parting that was to come, but when the evening came, we were pretty distraught. Josiah didn't express his emotions in words, but the next morning he came into our room crying and saying he was sad. For a few days afterwards he cried easily and was more volatile emotionally. The loss of Tom is felt by all of us and we will miss him terribly.

Our comfort is that Tom is going on to do what God has called him to do and he will be a gift to any child he works with. The following is a tribute to Tom and all of the hours he spent with Jo.

Terrible Twos

I'm pretty sure Asher's been in the terrible twos since he was 3 days old;however, lately he's been extra "2." It feels like we spend many hours in a days disciplining and saying NO. He's been totally exhausting lately and it's been harder to enjoy the good times. Here's a video example:

The boys play extremely well together in the bathtub (when they aren't annoying each other). Len got this great video of them having imaginary tea-time.

Brotherly love

Here's a video of a fairly typical interaction between Josiah and Asher. We took this video in Josiah's bedroom at the cabin. They have fun playing together, but inevitably someone can't control his hands and the other winds up with an owie. Today Josiah has several scratches on his face from Asher who desperately needed his nails trimmed. Be sure to watch this video until the end.

Last night was Asher's night to sleep in the playgym. We gave him the choice, but we didn't really think he'd want to do it. Lately he's been getting scared easily and hasn't wanted to try new things. We had a fire again in the evening so we'd be out there while he was going to sleep. He was really hyper just like Josiah was and he kept standing up looking out. He finally fell asleep around 9:30. Len slept with him and I heard him come in to use the bathroom around 3. At the same time some coyotes started howling and barking. They sounded like they were right in the backyard and then Asher started screaming and crying. Len ran out the same time I did and we brought Asher back inside, just inside as it started to rain. Today Asher talked about the "horses" waking him up, so he didn't associate the noise with dogs so that is a good thing. He's already terrified of dogs. Last year, our neighbor's dog "Annie" would come and visit us and Asher would lay all over her giving her kisses. This year he screams anytime a dog comes near. He is completely petrified of them.

Sleeping in the playgym

Yesterday at lunch Josiah informed us that he was going to sleep out in the playgym. He had done this once last summer so he must have remembered. Len brought his mattress out and put it up in the treehouse. Although we put him down at 7:30, he was so excited that he didn't fall asleep until 10:00! Len and I were outside having a campfire so we could keep an eye on him and he was so hyper. He was jabbering away to himself about how he was going to sleep but then wake up each time a car went by. Len slept with him and said it got really cold during the night even though we've had unbearably hot weather during the day.

Daddy's helper

We bought this little wheel barrow for Asher and he absolutely loves it. It was especially fun to follow Daddy around when he was using his big wheel barrow. He even insisted on bringing it to VBS last week!

Cabin

I've always felt Josiah and Asher are generally inflexible when it comes to change; however, they LOVED the cabin from day 1. We've been going up there every Sunday after church and I leave with the boys on Monday morning. Then Len has been staying through Monday and sometimes Monday night. The boys head right upstairs where they entertain themselves and each other by jumping on the mattresses. They have no problem eating there and up until this last weekend we had them sleeping in the same bed. The sleeping thing didn't go so smoothly as they would talk and giggle and fight until late. We finally put them in separate rooms and they went to sleep right away. This is a picture of them eating breakfast on a card table in the middle of our "living room."

First blog ever!!

Wow.... I'm finally joining with the rest of the world and starting my very first blog! Since it took me only 5 minutes to set up, I can't believe I've waited so long. Thanks Em for all the advice!