This week Josiah has had quite a change in his behavior. He has turned really aggressive. He's been aggressive in the past, but this is the worst its ever been. He even had a day at school where the aid said he was aggressive with her physically and verbally and even went after a couple of kids.
Today we had a really rough time with him. Sometimes he "goes after" us without any provocation, and at other times he lashes out when something doesn't go his way. We took the boys to the parade (more on that in a later post) and Josiah was rolling down the hill behind us and then biting my back when he got up to me. Then he started doing it to Len as well. He and Asher have been at it like cats and dogs as Asher of course won't tolerate any infraction and hits right back.
Tonight Lara was playing with the boys over at church and when I went to call to them to tell them that supper was ready, I saw Josiah scream and lash out at Lara pinching and hitting. I was about 50 yards away and I told her I'd handle it. When I got to them she was crying saying she just didn't know how to help him or how to handle it. I felt just awful.
I always knew that parenting would be heart-wrenching as I witnessed my own parents' emotions raising me... but I never expected the pain of watching your child really hurt someone else. It tears me up to know the anger he is capable of and how he has no control over himself.
Of course, intellectually I know there are reasons for what is going on with him, but it doesn't make it easier to watch the changes in him. There are lots of transitions going on in his life right now and one of the big ones is Lara leaving... After the incident, we were talking to him he said "I don't want her to go to camp, I want her to stay where I can see her." That is pretty complex thinking and I was so relieved that he could express that. So we talked about how proud we were of him using his words instead of his hands to express how sad he was about her leaving.
Lara handled the whole thing extremely well and came back in a few minutes back to her chipper self. She has just the sweetest heart and it really hit me hard to see her so sad.
Parenting is most surely the hardest job on the heart.